


They got my Blood (Up in their Veins)

by Multifandom_damnation



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol, Ambushes and Sneak Attacks, Amnesia, Blood and Injury, Bullying, Drugs, Families of Choice, Family Dynamics, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Minor Original Character(s), Muteness, Name-Calling, Near Death Experiences, Nightmares, Racism, Rebirth, Short Stories, Tarot Readings, Tattoos, Violence, because I know how bad I am at tagging, i just want to be thorough, it's just about Molly's life in the circus that we don't know about, its not as serious as the tags make it sound i promise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-08
Packaged: 2019-06-23 18:02:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15611886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multifandom_damnation/pseuds/Multifandom_damnation
Summary: One day, a circus came upon a boy covered in blood and dirt and tears and made him one of their own. They gave him a family, a life, a home.Every story has its phases.This is the story of his beginning, his middle...and his end.





	They got my Blood (Up in their Veins)

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is long, but I had this idea and wanted to do it.  
> My idea for the cart arrangements are:
> 
> 1) Gustav, Molly, Yasha  
> 2) Bosun, Ornna, Knot sisters  
> 3) Desmond, Kylre, Toya
> 
> I hope this is alright and that you all like it x

It was Bo who had found him, following the pained whimpering and the sniffling into the forest and trailed the upturned dirt covered in droplets of blood away from the body-sized hole in the ground to the sobbing purple tiefling leaning heavily against a tree.

Instantly, Bo had slung his cloak off, tucking it around the tiefling’s shoulders and held him tight as he feebly tried to lead him back to the camp. “Do you have a name?” Bo asked, “Do you speak Common?” He received nothing from the man in his arms but whines and desperate gasping for breath.

His hair was covered in dirt, mud streaked his skin and while the nails of a tiefling were usually long to demonstrate pride and prowess this tieflings nails were chipped and broken stubs, bleeding from the roots and bent backward in some places. His hair was close cropped, dark eyes decorated his skin, and Bo abruptly stood.

While tieflings were known to be rather warm, this one’s skin was cold as ice shivering in Bo’s arms, “Come with me, let me get you somewhere warm.”

Stumbling towards the campsite, Bo leaned the boy heavily against him- because he _was_ a boy- as they tumbled through the trees and into the open clearing where the circus was camped. The tiefling balked at the sight of the warm fire surrounded by people, but he was weak and underfed so Bo had no trouble pulling him towards the fire. “Ornna!” He called and the fire fairy looked up in alarm. “He needs help. He’s cold and looks like he hasn’t eaten in days.”

Desmond stood as he approached, turning to walk hastily towards the kitchenette and the bowls of stew they had cooked the night before. “One of those things I can fix.” He called out over his shoulder before he disappeared from view.

Ornna stepped up as Bo lowered the shivering tiefling onto the ground by the fire, a medical kit in her hand. “Mona, Yuli.” She barked, stern yet worried and a tone the whole circus was very used to by now. “One of you get more blankets. The other, go help Desmond with food and drink. Toya,” the last name was said softer but no less stern and a little girl stepped up to her side. “Go get Gustav.”

With a nod, the girls disappeared to do their respective jobs and Ornna took the tieflings chin in her hand, tutting when he attempted to pull away. “Come now, I’m not going to hurt you. I’m just going to make sure you don’t die on our doorstep.” Eventually, he stopped resisting and Ornna went about her usual medical checks.

Yuli ran up with a bundle of blankets and clothes, Mona close behind her with Desmond hot on her heels, arms filled with food and Toya came tugging on Gustav’s hand. “What’s all this then?” The ringleader asked, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. “Didn’t I tell you not to wake me unless the world was ending?”

“We found a stray,” Ornna’s voice was clipped but she didn’t look away from her task. “Well, Bo did. Say hello.”

Gustav strolled forward, dropping to his knees on the dirt and resting a hand on the tiefling’s leg. “And what’s your name then, young man?”

The tiefling was silent a moment as he curled the cloak closer around himself and took some of the blankets handed to him by a very eager Yuli. " _Empty_ ," he whispered, voice hoarse and broken as he trembled and buried his head under the blankets like if he were trying to hide. " _Empty_."  
  
Gustav eyed the rest of the group, all looking at the tiefling in concern and confusion. "Why doesn't he speak?" He asked, meeting Bo's eyes.  
  
"Not sure," Bo muttered, holding the bundle in his arms closer to his chest. "Found him cold and crying in the woods," he pointed in the direction. "Think he's been through a lot though. I found him by a grave, about the size of him."  
  
Humming, Gustav took the bowl from Desmond and handed it to the tiefling. "Here boy, drink up. You can stay with us until you get a bit better, then we'll send you on your merry way." The last part was added half-heartedly at a sharp glare from Ornna.   
  
It was no surprise to anyone that the tiefling wrapped his fingers around the bowl- hands now bound by crisp white bandages- and after taking a tentative sip, tipped his head back and devoured the rest of the broth. What was surprising was how he sniffled and wiped his tears, smiled his thanks to Desmond and tried to stand. 

"No no, you sit, I'll take care of it." Desmond tutted and the tiefling flopped back down as Desmond took the bowl from his grasp,  
  
"Do you speak Common?" Ornna asked gently "Do you understand us??” The tiefling nodded. "Can you speak?" A head shake. "Can you write?" Another. Ornna blew a breath out her nose and turned, glaring at Gustav with the pretense of putting her medical supplies back into their rightful place.  
  
_Talk soon._ She mouthed  
  
_Curfew._ He mouthed back and turned back to the half-asleep tiefling. "Let's find you a bedroll for the night, yes? You can spend the night in my tent." He glanced at Bo. "Can you see to that?"   
  
Nodding, Bo rose, lifting the tiefling and carrying him away towards the tents. Gustav stood and clapped his hands. "Right, that's enough excitement for one night. Curfew everyone, into your tents." The group vanished towards the tents until it was just him and Ornna standing in the warm light of the campfire. He turned to her as she spoke.  
  
"He can't stay." She declared as she crossed her arms. "You can't keep picking up strays and keeping them Gustav."  
  
"I don't know what you’re talking about." He mumbled, staring at the place the boy had come from. "Whoever said anything about him staying?"  
  
"You've got that look in your eye." She provided, but her voice was fond. "The same one when you picked up Toya and when you recruited the sisters."  
  
Sighing, Gustav ran a heavy hand down his face. "I want to help him Ornna. And I think we can do it."

Resting a gentle hand on his arm, Ornna turned his face to look at her, different than how she had turned the boy’s but the action was no less compelling. “What makes you think we can do it?” She asked. “We’re all different kinds of fucked up but we at least can speak. He doesn’t even have a name. What good is he to us?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it.” He leaned his head down and kissed her gently on the forehead before he pulled away. “I’m sure we’ll think of something. We always do.” He paused, considering. “Give me a month. If I can’t make any use of him in a month, we’ll drop him off at the next town who’ll have us. Deal?”

Ornna reached up to her head and threaded her fingers through her hair before lightly tugging on the short strands. “Fuckin fine. Deal. If he isn’t useful to us in a month we’re getting rid of him.”

Gustav smiled at her as they both made their way towards their tents. “I knew you’d come around.”

The tiefling was already lying in the floor of Gustav’s tent, small as it was, with his back against a support beam. He watched Gustav as he strolled in, looking away when Gustav started getting undressed. Gustav could hear the boy’s tail on the ground. “We’ll have to get you custom-made clothes, whether you stay or not.” He said lightly, breaking the silence. He could see light coming from the tent that contained the Knot sisters and laugher when Ornna walked in, shapes and movement reflecting on the fabric from the inside. “You can’t go around walking in Bo’s cloak and I’m sure that tail of yours has been quite a problem in the past.”

Gustav turned around just as the boy flinched and squeezed his eyes shut. He walked over and kneeled down next to the bedroll, carefully running his fingers through his hair. It probably needed a bit of a wash. “Do you not like talking about your past?” The tiefling shook his head. “I get it, not many of us do. Hell, the sisters-” he paused as a thought came to him like lightning through a conductor. “Wait… do you remember who you are? Do you even have a past?” The boy continued to shake his head and Gustav stood up, grunting at the pain in his knees, and strolled over to the writing desk. “No trouble. Past's don't matter my boy, it's what you make of the life you have. I’ll start forging your papers tonight and tomorrow we’ll come up with a name. How does that sound?”

After getting confirmation from the tiefling and hearing soft snoring shortly after, Gustav turned to his desk, pulled out his forgery materials and false documents and started making a new person.

~*~

When Gustav woke in the morning, the tiefling was gone from his bedroll and for a short, saddening second Gustav thought the boy had run in the night. Maybe he had cut his losses and bolted? The sound of laughter from outside had Gustav rising, stretching and making his way to the common area.

The tiefling was there, hands in a bucket of water as he washed mud off of the Knot sisters and Toya, all with big smiles and giggles. The tiefling himself was smiling for the first time since he’d arrived and Gustav stopped to watch. Off to the side, Bo, Ornna, and Kylre were watching this occur with small smiles, Desmond pilling sticks into the fire and staring out of the corner of his eye.

A little water dribbled form the sponge the tiefling was using to wipe the girls down and into Toya’s dress, where she squealed in happy surprise and the tiefling went wide-eyed, trying to wipe it away without putting his hands down her dress. “It’s ok MT,” she reassured, raspy and broken voice still filled with joy. Gustav was surprised, Toya didn’t talk all that often. “It was an accident, I don’t mind.”

At this point, Gustav strolled forward, and they looked up to him with big smiles plastered on their faces. “Now what’s going on here?”

“We went rolling down the hills,” Mona explained in gleeful giggles. “MT chased us and is helping us clean up so Ornna doesn’t get mad.”

Gustav tilted his head. “MT?”

“Yeah,” Yuli said, pointing at the tiefling, who turned to Gustav and grinned. “All he says is ‘empty’, right? It kind of sounds like the initials MT so we’re calling him that until he gets a name.” She suddenly looked somewhat sheepish. “Is that ok?”

Pretending to muse the idea over, Gustav rubbed a hand on his chin. “I believe that is acceptable.” He paused and looked over the girls and MT up to his elbows in suds. “Who’s idea was the hill part?”

“Toya’s,” Mona said as Yuli splashed water from the bucket at her. “MT pushed us down and we all went together. It actually wasn’t that bad.”

With a smile, Gustav nodded and turned to walk back to Ornna. “He got Toya to speak,” he whispered “And he’s getting the sisters to have fun. They’re fucking laughing, Ornna. Even if he’s not useful to us in the long run, he makes them happy, and he’s only been here a day.”

Ornna sighed. “We’ll see.”

~*~

MT was riding in the same cart as Gustav at the front of the procession, chin rested on his palms, elbows on the wooden edge of the cart and tail swinging out behind him as he stared out at the landscape with a considering expression. "Have you ever been this far north?" Gustav asked and MT shook his head. "It's a shame we're not going past in spring, the wildflowers are lovely."

Humming, MT watched as the Knot sisters leaped up onto their caravan for their daily lesson, Mona shoving a fistful of bright red jugglers balls into MTs hands and Yuli dropping a bag filled with batons and pins to the wooden planks of the cart. MT took them up in his long fingers- his claws were growing out to their longer, sharper length, Gustav was pleased to note- and slowly started juggling the balls in the air.  
  
"You couldn't wait until we had stopped girls?" Gustav asked exasperated "You know the rules."  
  
Yuli rolled her eyes as she mockingly recited. "'The caravans won’t stop if you drop one and any equipment lost comes out of your paycheck'. We know."  
  
Trying to look out the corner of his eye, Gustav watched MT juggle the balls with an improved talent than he had a few weeks ago, and soon he had moved on to the batons, then the pins and had them flying through the air with grace and dexterity, a demonstration that (when glancing back at their faces) the Knot sisters were proud of.   
  
"Are we juggling this act, or dancing?" Mona questioned, having climbed to the front of the cart with Gustav, leaving MT and Yuli alone in the back. They were now juggling batons together, throwing them back and forth between the two. "Just so we know what to practice and wear."

Gustav thought for a moment, tugging the reins to keep the horses back on the path. “We don’t want another last year.” Mona shivered at the thought. “We won’t change the act yet, continue with the contortion and we’ll do juggling next season." Mona nodded but didn’t pull back, and Gustav shot her a look. “What’s really on your mind?”

“Is it true that Ornna wants MT to go?”

Gulping, Gustav spared a glance back at the tiefling. “She did, yes.” He said carefully, gauging Mona’s reaction. “She said that if we didn’t figure out what to do with him in a month we had to drop him off at the next town. But it’s been months later and she hasn’t brought it up since.”

Mona let out a sharp breath of relief, relaxing against the wooden seat. “You’re not really the trusting type, Mona,” Gustav observed. “But you like this one, huh?”

“MT’s great.” Mona shrugged like it should be obvious. “He needs a name though. The next time we pass honest crowns guard who we can’t pay off when they come by asking for our papers, you know ‘MT’ isn’t going to fly.”

Nodding in agreement, Gustav turned to her. “I’ll figure that out. Gotta make sure he’s happy with whatever we choose, right?” Mona hummed. “What do you think his act should me?”

“Act?”

“He’s one of us now.” Gustav was rather satisfied at the surprise joy on Mona’s face. “He needs an act if he’s really going to stay.”

“He’s a rather good juggler,” Mona mused, “But we juggle. Do you think we should have him juggle with other things than bars and balls?”

“Swords?” Gustav suggested, “I have a rather lovely pair of scimitars in the prop bin, and if he’d like to decorate them he could. I think they could even be sharpened if he wanted to use them to fight.”

Mona paused, looking backward at MT who was running the balls between the gaps of his fingers, around the outside, over his palm, through his fingers. “Well, I can’t remember a fortune teller at the carnival, ever really.” She looked over to Gustav for approval. “Why don’t we give him a deck of cards and see what he can do?”

Gustav looked at her with a wicked glint in his eye, and knowing the look of mischief, Mona brightened. “Why not both, my dear?” he laughed. “Nothing’s stopping us.”

~*~

It was the next show when it all went to shit, the big top shining high in the sky and the only colourful thing for miles in the miserable town. MT was standing off behind the scenes with those not performing and watched with happy tears running down his face as Toya sang up on her podium. The crowd watched, amazed, as Toya painted worlds with her voice.

Mona saw the knife flung from the crowd and only managed to shout out a warning before it sliced into the ropes holding the podium up. The podium swayed and twitched in the air. It didn’t come down, but Toya stumbled and fell off the platform, and even Kylre wasn’t fast enough to catch her.

MT had moved before Gustav had registered it, the purple blur sprinting across the stage and sliding on his knees the last few inches as he caught Toya in his grasp and slid out the way of any danger, holding a sobbing Toya tightly in his arms on the other side of the stage.

There were gasps from the audience as Bo rushed up to pull and re-tie ropes, Desmond searching the crowd for the knife thrower, but the crowd was focused on the tiefling, booing and swearing at him as he pushed Toya’s hair out of her face and wordlessly asked if she was alright. He ignored the audience, the things thrown, the curses, the taunts, the insults, the glares, until Toya looked at him and stood on shaky legs. Together, they walked out the other side of the tent and into the open for a breath of fresh air.

Gustav strolled out, standing in the center of the tent and rose his arms to address the crowd. “Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for attending our show here tonight. Due to sabotage, we will be ending the performances and will be keeping your payment for collateral to fix our show for the next event. Thank you all for your understanding and we hope you had a magnificent time at The Fletching and Moondrop Travelling Carnival of Curiosities.”

Surprisingly, there was much less uproar regarding the lack of refunds as there were about MT, and just as Gustav was about to usher everyone away, Ornna stormed out from the side and stood in front of Gustav. “You just watched a young child be saved from certain death and you are stating that you prefer to have her killed because of her savior?” The crowd hushed. “No refunds, get out of my tent and think about your fucking morals.”

The audience crowded out and Gustav turned to Ornna. “ _Your_ tent now is it?”

Ornna shrugged. “It’s just as much my tent as it is yours.”

Gustav couldn’t argue with that, so he slung an arm around her shoulders and the two went off to find Toya and MT.

~*~

(A week later and just days before their first paper inspection, MT got his name, sitting out over a rocky outcropping with his fingers threading and braiding Toya’s flower-riddled hair and Gustav drinking tea and rum out of an old, chipped teacup the size of a flask, the sea warring against itself and throwing its volume against the cliff face.

MT’s smile was wide enough to show his fangs, pointed and long, and his red eyes glittered in the suns reflection off the ocean. He nodded, fast and hard, the name fitting and locking tightly into someplace within his soul.

Toya was clapping her hands clasped tightly against her chest and Gustav had one of those looks that told you he thought his entire existence was genius.

“Welcome to the family, Mollymauk Tealeaf.”)

~*~

After Mollymauk was juggling blades as well as he was juggling balls or batons or clubs, he picked up a tarot deck he found sitting on Gustav’s writing desk, flipping through the cards a few times before strolling back towards his tent and sitting heavily on his bed.

A few rotations of sliding the cards between his fingers and twirling them around, Molly had mostly memorized the patterns and colours and names of them all, the feeling of the ink against his fingers, the quality of the paper.

His first reading was Toya, and although he wasn’t at all secretive or sly and dropped most of the cards, she was still gasping in excitement and giggling when a card was suddenly behind her ear.

He spent countless hours on the floor, shuffling and hiding and sliding the cards until it was flawless and when he felt that tingle at the back of his head while he was eyeing Ornna, pulling out the cards he felt best matched and saw the impressed surprise glinting in her eyes, he knew he had done it.

Soon, not only was he juggling swords above his head for those awaiting entry into the tent, but he was sitting outside, collecting silvers into a bucket that rattled when they hit the bottom.

Ornna sat by Gustav, smiling slightly. “I was wrong to doubt you,” she sighed, glancing sidelong at the half-elf. “I mean, he still doesn’t speak, but he’s useful.”

“You doubt me more than you should, my dear,” Gustav laughed, watching as Molly stood up and bowed, before packing away his cards and throwing his swords up to lead the procession into the big tent.

~*~

Shows were slow in winter, too cold for sane people and too exhausting to the performers, so in the offseason while the circus was perfecting their acts, Molly was making his coat.

For as long as he’d been with the circus, he’d worn old shirts and pants with holes ripped into the back to make room for his tail, but after arriving at a fabric store with an armful of gold and an almost desperate look on his face as he brought all the fabric and thread he could afford.

The pants came first, the purple and blue patterns that he had stitched and pressed together over days, a proper space for his tail and pockets in the sides. The first time Molly walked out in public with them, not only did he receive the confused and horrified looks he had hoped for, but the sisters were jealous, and that’s all that really mattered to him.

The coat took him longer, painstakingly stitched and embroidered to flawlessness over a month, symbols of everything he had come to be and wants to flaunt, the technicolor against the purple of his skin was horrendous and nauseating if you looked for too long, but Molly was more than proud of his silken purchase. Worn over a loose white shirt, Molly thought he looked quite smitten.

It was Bo who had gifted him his first pair of knee-highs, a broad smile on his face as Molly unwrapped them from their brown paper packaging and promptly stuck them on over his feet.

~*~

When he first spoke, it was a surprise to everyone, but especially Mollymauk, as he stood in front of Toya with his prop swords by his sides after those men had stormed into the camp with snarls and clubs. Mona was already holding Toya while Yuli, the quietest of the two, had slunk off in search of Ornna with her fire fans and Bosun with his fury.

“Stay back,” Molly growled, voice dangerously low to mask the roughness of his words after months of disuse.

They laughed at him, so Molly said it louder, his voice cracking like lightning in the silence. “Fuck off you mangy fucks.” It was strange, that after being surrounded by the same people all of his life, it was Gustav’s accent his voice took on. “Get lost.”

Toya was sobbing and Mona whispered reassurances to her as the girls trembled behind Molly, one in fear the other in rage. “Get fucked, you gits.” Mona called bravely. “Go find other people to trouble.”

Molly could hear quiet footsteps from around him, knowing the tread of his family by now, but once a man rushed forward to reach the girls, Molly had no choice.

His blade was up before it had even registered to him, his other sword swiping around in an arc and shocking the man back a step. The footsteps approaching stopped and their attackers looked at him quizzically. “Now, are we gonna have a problem or are you going to turn around and disappear and forget this never happened?”

Suddenly, he was moving again, sidestepping a spear to his side and instinctually slashing at a man with his arms raised high above his head. Molly didn’t know how he knew the things he did, but his body moved without any thought out of the way of blades and fists, his hands knew to bring the swords up to block his face and his head knew to turn it when something whizzed past his ear.

He gripped a sword between his hands, cutting his skin on the blade and letting blood drip freely. Instantly, ice spread across the blade and Molly yanked it out of the man’s hands before he could register what had happened. “What the fuck?” He shouted, but Molly twisted and sliced the man in return, darting back as the man grabbed his arm and hissed in pain.

At this point, Bo and Ornna had rushed in, Ornna with her fans of flame, Bosun with the glave they keep by the wagons, Yuli with a dagger, Gustav with his crossbow and Desmond with his violin. The men scattered almost instantly, and Yuli ran to Toya and Mona and grasped the women tightly, Bosun doing a patrol around the area with Desmond for any stragglers, Ornna had rushed to the girls to check on any wounds.

Gustav had slowly approached Molly, eyeing the ice-covered blade by his feet. “So, you can talk now?”

“Apparently,” Molly sighed, voice still rough and pain-filled. “Didn’t know I could, let me tell you.”

“And the weird ice thing?” Gustav was doing a rather terrible job of trying not to care. “How long’s that been going on?”

“Since I woke up. I’m surprised that Bo didn’t find any blood in the dirt but once when I was practicing my juggling I cut myself and that happened.”

Humming, Gustav nudged Molly with his hip. “You’ve got some explaining to do, my friend, but I think right now I get to rub it into Ornna’s face that you got my accent out of everyone’s.”

~*~

The robes were odd, long and flowery, a hideous shade of yellow-green and with intricate beading and a pattern on the back and sleeves that reminded him of a peacock.

“Shouldn’t ‘initiation’ be something we do once someone joins?” Molly asked Gustav as he waved his arms about, the extra fabric on the ends of the sleeves flapping about and tangling up.

“It normally is, but you were a special case.” Gustav chuckled. “You see; most people are able to _speak_ when they join the circus. You couldn’t, but now you can, so we’re starting now.”

“What am I even supposed to do?”

“I don’t know. Make something up.” The cart came to a stop by the side of the road, Molly hoping off his cart and Bo leaping off the one he shared with Ornna and the Knot sisters. “Now, get on your way. We’ll come by and pick you up in… three weeks?”

“ _Three weeks?_ ” Molly shrieked in disbelief. “What if they find out and kill me in _two_? What _then_?”

“Let’s hope that doesn’t happen. We’re leaving Bo here with you just in case, so you have nothing to worry about. Now, get going. Get all the spoils you can and hopefully, we can buy some new equipment.”  The cart disappeared in a puff of dirt.

Bo placed his hand on Molly’s arm. "I hope you’ve got some bullshit lined up.”

With a sigh, Molly turned and faced the road walking the dreaded cobbles towards the town. When he reached the first sign of people, approaching with swords and spears raised, Molly put his hands in the air and placated the crowd with his most charming smile. “Hello there, my name is Mollymauk Tealeaf and I am an extremely important noble from a far-off land. Who is willing to point me to the nearest tavern?”

~*~

Not long after, Molly had covered Bo and Ornna into his tent, shut the curtains and whipped around to face them.

“I want tattoos.”

Twin pairs of eyes turned slowly to stare at him in surprise, eyebrows raised and eyes wide.  
  
"You want what? Bosun asked, blinking.   
  
"Tattoos," Molly said it like it was the simplest thing in the world. "Lots of them." He waved a hand up and down his body. "And everywhere."  
  
"And what gives you the impression that we'll be able to do that for you?" Ornna questioned with an eyebrow raised.  
  
"You're right, my bad." Molly conceded. "The sisters are much more qualified, I'll go ask them, my dearest apologies for such an inconsiderate-"   
  
Four arms wrapped around him and pulled him back and Molly couldn't hide his victory smirk.   
  
Bo had sat him down on a splintering wooden chair and wiped his arms down with sponges and towels while Ornna disappeared to fetch needles and ink.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" Bo was trying not to worry, but Molly could feel the strain in his voice. "You know that once you get it there I'll never come out."  
  
Trailing a long nail from below his eye and over his cheek to disappear below his collar, Molly mused, imagining what the tattoo would look like against his skin instead of against his mind’s eye. “I want a peacock, all the way down my face and I want it to trail down past here. I want it to cover the god's damned eyes and I want it to all blend in.” He turned around, removed his coat and shirt to show his arms and back. “I want a snake to wind around my arm and my wrist so it looks like it’s eating my hand. I want a whole fuck tonne of flowers up here so it all mixes together. I want a pyramid and an eye and…”

Ornna came in while he was rambling, pointing at random parts of his body and explaining everything he wanted while Bo stood there with a hand on the back of his neck, eyes darting to keep up with Molly’s quickly moving fingers and looking more overwhelmed than Ornna has ever seen him. “I hope you know that we can’t do that all at once unless you want to sleep in that chair and not leave for weeks.”

Molly turned to her, face falling. “You can’t?”

Sighing, Ornna walked forward, running a hand through Molly’s hair affectionately and placing her utensils on the sterilized table. “No, dear, it’s time consuming and painful.” She explained. “And while I’m sure you’re accustomed to pain, it’s a different kind of pain, and it’s very hard to do.” She placed a kiss on his forehead. “You’ve had this running around in your head for ages, haven’t you?”

“Since the coat,” Molly admitted, curling in on himself and resting his horns on his knees. “And I’ve been wanting to ask since I started speaking, but I knew Gustav wouldn’t do it and I needed his permission because he’s technically my dad but-” He took a deep breath. “I really want it; no matter what Gustav says.”

“Well, I’m always a fan of annoying Gustav.” Ornna chuckled. “Is this the only thing you wanted?” Molly shook his head. “What else is there/”

Reaching up to run a finger over his horns, Molly sighed in resinated defeat. “I want my horns pierced.”

A loud, boisterous laugh came from behind Ornna and when she spun around, Bosun had stood up from his seat and was making his way towards Molly to clap a hand on his shoulder. “Ah ha, that’s the spirit my boy!” he turned to Ornna, “Do you think we should deal with those first? Give him something too have while we do the tattoos? Like you said, they take a long time, but piercings? No time at all!”

“Bo, he has horns,” Ornna sighed she rubbed the bridge of her nose. “Horn’s will be much harder to pierce than ears or noses or nipples. You-” She was cut off as two large, strong hands gripped her elbows and shook her.

“Ornna, my sweet, don’t you love a challenge?” Ornna felt herself smiling along with him. “I’m sure we have something we can give him to get ‘em in there?” He insisted.

Ornna rolled her eyes. “I might have something.” She turned to Molly. “I don’t know how horns work, but with normal piercings, you need something to put in there so the holes don’t close. I don’t know if that happens with horns, but just in case, do you have something to put in there as placeholders?”

She had hardly finished speaking when Molly dug around in one of his coat pockets and produced handfuls of fancy baubles, piercings, jewelry, caps, studs and bracers, gold and silver and all seemingly high quality. “I brought them with my last paycheck,” He explained in answer to Ornna’s surprise. “I hope that’s ok.”

Slowly, ever so slowly, a grin spread across Ornna’s face and when she turned to Bo, he wore a look of triumph. “I say we get this show on the road, hey?”

(The piercings came first, holes drilled and stabbed into his horns and excitement masking the pain he thought he was supposed to feel but couldn’t, but the holes didn’t heal over like Ornna had thought and the next day he was parading around the camp with a new pair of bejewelled horns, moon and sun pendants jingling in the wind and sun shining off the metal.

Next came the long weeks of tattoos, painful and colorful and oh so satisfying.

The peacock was bright and vibrant, the flowers were delicate and beautiful, the snake sharp and dangerous, the moon and the sun different kinds of glowing, the pyramid imposing and intimidating.   
  
The red-raw puffiness that was his skin for the next few weeks was worth the art that now was on the canvas of his skin and how absolutely fantastic it made him feel.  
  
So what if those red eyes he woke up with didn't take ink; as a man of adaption, he had worked it into his masterpiece.)

~*~

The flames were warm and bright in the campfire during the cold night, the first snow in months falling lightly from the darkened sky. They all sat there, Mollymauk and Gustav with mugs of strong liquor, Ornna methodically opening and closing her fan with a flick of her wrist, the sisters sitting back to back, Toya cradled in Kylre's arms, Desmond playing his fiddle to drown out the silence of the night and Bo slowly cleaning his equipment.

“Are we really doing this then?” Molly asked haltingly, eyeing the rest of his family seated in the flickering circle of light wearily.  

“Only if you want it to.” Bo insisted. “We only thought that because you know almost everything about us and we know very little about you, but now you've found your voice…”

Molly waved off Bo’s concerns as the half-orc trailed off. “Yes, yes, I understand. The issue is that don't have anything really to tell you that you don't already know.” He admitted, tilting his head. “Woke up in a grave, no memories and no voice, clawed my way out and low and behold I’ve run into a big top filled with circus freaks.”

Mona snorted, her sister elbowing her in the side as Yuli tried to stifle her own laughter with a fist. "You're one of the fucking freaks, Molls." Mona teased, words full of jovially. "You can't bloody talk."  
  
"Fuck off." Molly laughed. "We all know you two are the biggest fucking freaks in this whole troupe."  
  
Ornna rolled her eyes. "You do not remember anything? Not about the magnitude of scars on your skin or those red eyes that strangely do not take ink?"  
  
Shrugging, Molly took a large swig from his mug. "I don't know what else you expected. I already told you that I'm just as clueless as you are.  
  
"That's alright," Gustav announced, a slur to his words as he slapped Molly firmly on the back and the tiefling watched Desmond and Bo eye the rising pile of empty mugs. "It doesn't matter where you came from, all that does is what direction you want your life to head in. We don't care who you were, just who you are and who you are going to be."  
  
Molly managed to bite his tongue before his snarky comment left his mouth. "What if he was a terrible person? What if he killed children or poached half-orcs or hunted people with pointed ears or poisoned humans for fun and used lizardfolk as wall ornaments and was all around not a very funny guy?"  
  
Gustav yawned, not caring in the slightest. "Then that guy is other peoples problem. But you, Mollymauk Tealeaf," he leaned in close "are ours, and anyone who wants to change that will have to pry you from our cold dead hands."  
  
The ghost of a smile across his lips and Molly felt like he was strangely alright with that.  
~*~  
"Mollymauk!" Gustav called singsong, Toya in tow. "This is a large town and we're not gonna be able to cover it all. Once we set up, could you go to the parts of the town that the procession missed?" 

Behind him, Molly could see Bosun lifting his drum over his shoulder and the sisters practicing their performance. Ornna was talking to Desmond about horses as he tuned his fiddle. Molly looked back to Gustav, a smile on his face. "You're finally letting me off the leash, hey?"  
  
Gustav grabbed his horns and pulled Molly's head to his chest, wrapping his arms around him and squeezing "My little boy, all grown up and ready to leave the nest. " he joked before letting go and letting a hand slide and land gently on Molly's shoulder. "We just need to get traffic from those we miss. We only go on the main roads after all. Hand out fliers, tell fortunes, whatever you need to do."  
  
Nodding, Molly reached up to pat the hand on his shoulder. "I think I can manage it. I'm the best fortune teller this carnival has ever had."  
  
Snorting, Gustav pulled his hand away. "You're the only fortune teller this carnival's ever had."  
  
Molly chuckled before falling to knees and holding out his arms. "How about a hug before you go?" He asked Toya, smiling at the way she brightened and rushed into Molly’s arms before he squeezed her tightly and she pulled away to catch Gustav's hand in hers.

The walk through town was filled with excited children and waving politely at glaring parents as he made his way through taverns, sweet talking and folding his cards out onto sticky table tops and grinning his most stunning smile at women who swooned and men who grinned back and people Molly’s couldn’t really tell the gender of, but they seemed to be enjoying his company.

When his stack of fliers was nearly empty and his coin pouch full of silver, Molly made his way to a large grey fountain in the middle of a square towards the south side of the town, and he took in the onlookers before he removed his coat and laid it on the floor. “Ladies and Gentlemen and everything in-between!” He announced as he stood atop his coat. “My name is Mollymauk Tealeaf of the Fletching and Moondrop Travelling Carnival of Curiosities, and for a limited time only I will be reading your fortunes at this very spot for a steal of just two copper pieces in anticipation for the show tonight at the outskirts of this very fine town.”

Children rushed forward with their parents close behind them, copper held tightly in their hands. Molly had cards coming from behind their ears, inside their shirts and between their tows and even the parents looked impressed at the performance.

Molly could hear the deep thumping of Bo’s drum beat and the light melody of Desmond’s fiddle as the procession came closer and Molly took it as his time to leave and join the others. Standing up, he called “Thank you all so very much for your patronage, I hope to see you all tonight at the carnival, where there will be more fortunes and much more entertainment.” He bowed, picking up his coat and his payment in one hand on the way down, and when he stood a glass bottle smashed against the back of his head.

Stumbling forward, Molly reached his hand to his head, feeling the quickly icing over blood, before he spun around gasping with his hands up to deflect the fist towards his face. “Fuckin’ carnie.” The man spat as his strike missed. “We don’t need none of your hubbub ruining and corrupting our children and our town.”

Backing himself up against the wall, Molly tried his hardest to laugh off the pain, his voice trembling slightly in fear. “H-hey now, there’s no need for any sort of violence. We’ll be in town for the next two days and then we’ll be on our way.”

“We want you gone now.” The man snapped and Molly realized that he was a half-elf. “The whole lot of you. You have no business being in this town.”

“Our whole reason for being in this town is to gather business,” Molly shot back as he slowly edged himself across the wall. “We are not forcing anyone to attend, kind sir, so if you do not wish to see it, you don’t have to.”

The people in the square had rushed back into homes and side streets, leaving Molly entirely alone. “I don’t think you’re quite getting it, kid.” The half-elf was so close Molly could feel the spit across his face and the stench of his breath. “You need to leave this fucking town or else you-”

His last sentence was cut off as a large green fist gripped him by the collar and lifted him backward- Bosun, drum discarded, stood defensively in front of Mollymauk. “Or else what, fucker?”

Ornna rushed forward, worrying at Molly’s scalp and brushing glass shards out of his hair. “I’ll take out the ones that pierced you once we get back home.” She whispered.

The half-elf had leaped to his feet at the appearance of the newly arrived and bolted back through a side street, Molly only letting out a breath when he disappeared from sight. “Well,” he said with a shaky laugh. “That could have gone marginally better. I got silver for it though, enough to get the sisters the new hand wrappings they wanted.”

Pushing himself to Molly’s side, Gustav looked down at the tiefling with worry. “That is the _last_ time you leave to showboat by yourself.”

~*~

She arrived with the crack of thunder, the pelting of rain and the flash of lightning.

Gustav stumbled out of his tent when he saw the shadowed image of a tall woman illuminated by a lightning strike, and after putting on his boots and shrugging on an overcoat, he pushed the folds open of his tent and came face to chest with her.

She was soaked to the bone, hair and clothes drenched and hanging heavy on her form, eyes boring holes into his head. “Do you need a bouncer?”

"Yes, yes right, I’m sure we probably do but I may need to speak to Ornna about it." Gustav blinked, rubbing sleep and rain water out of his eyes. "What's your name, las?"  
  
"Yasha." Her voice was gruff and firm and Gustav resisted the urge to turn away. "Do you need extra help or not?"  
  
Gustav was foolishly about to decline her offer before thinking back to the week earlier and a lavender head filled with glass. "Yes, yes I believe we do. Uh, if you wouldn't mind Miss Yasha, the only tent with have for you to sleep in tonight is with our fortune teller-"  
  
"I can always sleep outside," Yasha interjected, but Gustav waved her off.   
  
"Nonsense. You will have a dry place to sleep tonight. You may wake him up if he isn't already once you walk in and he will help you set up your sleeping arrangements and warm up the tent." He pointed off to the corner, the tent Mollymauk was staying in alone and the only tent that could fit more people. "It's that one, over there. Now, off you go before this rain gets somehow worse."

Yasha trudged her way through the mud towards the tent, pushed open the fabric and entered. There was a body in a bed who stirred with a grumble when she walked in, whipping their eyes and sitting up to face her. Their face grew a broad, excited grin when they landed eyes on her and they pushed themselves off of the bed until they were standing on the floor. “Why hello there, my name is Mollymauk Tealeaf, Molly to my friends-” he (for Yasha now knew it was a he) stuck out his hand and Yasha was forced to awkwardly grip it while he shook it. “-and we’re friends now aren’t we? Let me guess, Gustav hired you and this was the only place left. I both pity you and am happy for you.”

Frowning, Yasha tilted her head. “How could you be both at once?”

“Because you are bunking with me for the foreseeable future.” Molly grinned, turning away with a flourish and a whip of his coat tails, he dug into a wooden chest and pulled out a large, finely made hammock and stung it up between two posts. He threw Yasha a towel which she caught easily and turned to flop back onto his own bed. “We’ll talk more about your station in the morning. But now it is late and you are very wet and no good conversations happen in those circumstances.”

Confused and a more than a little startled, Yasha wiped her hair dry with her towel, slowly removed her clothes, folded them over a rack in the corner and removed winter bed clothes from her small trunk by her side which she promptly dropped on the floor by the hammock. Mollymauk was snoring, so Yasha couldn’t question him until the morning, but nonetheless, she laid down and slept.

~*~

Over a month, Yasha had grown used to the circus life and the incessant tiefling who had permanently plastered himself to her side. A month, by usual standards, was the longest she had stayed in any place.  
  
Then the storm came again, loud and strong and Yasha felt the tingle of electricity beneath her veins as she slung her legs over her hammock and stood to her case, haphazardly throwing in her belongings before lifting it and trudging out through the tent folds and into the dirt beyond. The rain had not yet hit, but Yasha knew it soon would, and also knew from experience that it was better to be gone when it came.  
  
A long-nailed hand reached out from the tent and gripped her forearm, forcing her to turn around with a frustrated grunt. "What do you want, Mollymauk?"  
  
The tiefling's eyes were wide with worry, frantically darting across the tents as if to seek help from their occupants. "What the hell are you doing?" He hissed, fingers digging in tighter as if he could keep her there through his own strength. "Where are you going? A storm's about to hit!"  
  
Huffing in both agitation and amusement, Yasha turned to her purple roommate. "I just have to go. I promise I will explain everything when I come back but sometimes I have to leave for a while to figure some things out."  
  
The worry didn't leave Molly's face, but slowly his fingers realised her wrist and she pulled it out of his reach just as slow. "How you be able to find us?" He asked quietly.  
  
Yasha awkwardly reached a hand up to ruffle his hair between his horns, the jewellery twinkling against her fingers. "I always do. I promise you, I will."  
  
Seemingly unconvinced, Molly darted back into their shared tent before he momentarily reappeared with a large, folded piece of paper. "Just in case, here's the tour map, so the towns circled in red are where we're going next, the blue line is the path we're taking to get there and the numbers in black are how long we're staying." He explained before thrusting the map into Yasha's hands.   
  
Suddenly, he rushed forward and enveloped Yasha in a large hug, arms wrapping most of the way around her torso and his face buried in her chest. "Please promise you'll come back?" He pleaded, voice muffled.  
  
Doing something extremely surprising to herself, Yasha hugged him back. "Thank you, Mollymauk." She said sincerely. "I promise you I will come back to you. "  
  
Yasha pulled back and Mollymauk reluctantly let go, watching her as she turned her back and trekked off into the darkness.   
~*~  
(Soon there was a purple body covered in blood and buried in snow, a dart embedded in its neck and blood-filled foam falling from its mouth.  
  
In the trees, men were hiding. Like cowards. Yasha had run forward and killed them all with precise swoops of her blade and their laughter and taunts died with them.  
  
Yasha carried Molly back to camp and swore never to let him leave her side if she could follow.)  
~*~  
Molly grunted as he dodged another blow, the short sword sailing harmlessly over his head as he brought his other sword up to dodge one coming for his chest.  
  
Off to the side, Ornna regarded them with consideration, arms crossed and head cocked to the side. "Raise your arm up higher." She coached and Molly did what she said as Bo brought the sword down against his scimitar. "And shuffle your feet back a bit."  
  
Bo kicked his legs and Molly's feet went out from under him and he landed flat on his back in the dust, gasping as the breath was knocked out of him. The cool edge of the blade was pressing into his throat, not enough to draw blood but enough that Molly knew it was definitely a possibility, and Molly glanced up through squinting eyes at Bo and his smug grin and tusks glinting in the flare of the sun.  
  
"Come on, Mollymauk." Ornna goaded from behind them. "Get out of there."  
  
Glaring at Bo, Molly wrapped his tail around the half-orcs feet and yanked backwards, making Bo stumble away from Molly and forcing him to regain his balance, but Molly was back on his feet in an instant and had pushed Bo up against the tree, a sword at his throat and another pressing up against his friends side.  
  
Ornna was clapping and Molly could hear her approaching, but his eyes were fixated on Bo's and the proud, taunting laughter that danced behind them. "I told you I'm not as bad as you thought."  
  
Smirking, Bo shrugged. "I know you say you have muscle memory from a time before," He reached up and pushed Molly's scimitar away from his throat with a finger, seemingly unconcerned with the one at his ribs. "But I'm sure it's still nice being able to fight with your own memories, yes? And it wouldn't hurt to get a little extra training in anyway."  
  
"Still," Molly pushed away from the tree and dropped his swords to his sides as Ornna placed a hand on his shoulder. "I distinctly remember some kind of rule put in place about sword-to-skin contact. You scared the shit out of me."  
  
Rolling his eyes, Bo sheathed his short swords. "Don't be such a fucking baby, Molls."  
  
"I thought we were done fighting?" Ornna joked before turning to Molly. "You did better. Footwork still needs a little work, maybe where you place your hands as well, but everything else is pretty much spot on."  
  
"What can I say?" Molly grinned, sheathing his own weapons and spinning his coat dramatically. "I'm just that good."  
  
Snorting, Bo pulled Molly and Ornna close and put an arm around each of their shoulder's. "Keep dreaming, Molly." He chuckled as he lead them back to camp and the bell announcing some well-deserved food.  
~*~

Toya was crying again, snivelling with a hand clamped to her mouth and tears running down her cheeks in rivulets. Molly poked his head into the tent, saw her sat up on the edge of the bed, Kylre asleep beside her. He walked in and extended his hand and Toya looked at him startled before she took it and Molly led her out of the tent and into his own.  
  
"Bad dream?" He asked her softly as he closed the curtain and sat down on his bed beside her. Yasha's bed was still empty, the barbarian not yet returning from another one of her trips and Molly whacked it with his tail absentmindedly, making it swing.  
  
"Yeah," Toya whispered, voice sleep-thick and raw, the crackle of constant singing making her voice sounding pain filled. "Another bad dream."  
  
"Hey, that's nothing to be ashamed of," Molly reassured, lying down on the bed and pulling the dwarf down on top of him until her head was on his chest. "I have them all the time. Nothing wrong with nightmares."  
  
Toya rubbed her nose, snot smearing across the back of her palm and her white nightdress. "Really?"  
  
"Of course my dear," Molly laughed, folding his arms behind his head. "Everyone has nightmares. Ornna does, Bo does, Gustav does, hell- I know Desmond does and who the fuck knows what's wrong with the sisters."  
  
"I never knew that," Toya hiccuped, wiping her tears away with her thumb.   
  
"Well, Kylre snores so loudly that I doubt you'll be able to hear anything anyway," Molly winked, making Toya giggle. "It's late, you can sleep here tonight, I'm sure Gustav won't mind."  
  
Toya was asleep before Molly had finished speaking, and with a fond smile, he brushed the hair out of her face and closed his eyes.  
~*~  
Over time, Yasha had gotten used to the returning and departing hugs from Mollymauk, his whole weight in her arms and his face buried into the furs of her cloak.   
  
So when she had returned to the circus encampment on the last dregs of a thunderstorm and no purple body collided into hers, she got worried.  
  
The other people- Yasha had steadily learnt all their names by now, with Molly's help- were looking at her with dread and worry, the Knot sisters huddled together by the fire, Bosun leaning back on one hand and running the fingers of this other hand through Ornna's short hair, her head on his lap. Gustav offered her a small smile before turning and facing away. Kylre was nowhere to be seen, but Yasha could hear the heavy snoring from the tent the toad shared with Toya.   
  
She wasn't around either, Yasha realized as she made her way to Gustav, and neither was Desmond. The camp was much too quiet without them. "Where's Molly?" She asked the ringmaster, crouching beside him.   
  
Without looking up, Gustav pointed his chin in the direction he was facing, eyes watching intently. "He's having one of his... episodes." He explained quietly. "Toya and Desmond have gone over to try and lure him out of his hiding spot, goad him out with the promise of a song."  
  
Frowning, Yasha followed his gaze. "How can they do that if he is hiding from them?"  
  
"Well, they know where he is." He conceded. "It just takes us a while to find him when he disappears. But when we find him, there's no fuss keeping him there."  
  
"Does it usually work? Them luring him out, I mean."  
  
"Yes," Gustav sighed, tired and worn, like a parent talking about a rebellious teen. "But this time seems to be worse than normal."  
  
"This is a regular... occurrence then?"  
  
"Unfortunately, yes. Much too regular for my tastes, let me tell you."  
  
Rising from beside Gustav, Yasha brushed herself off and patted his shoulder like Molly had taught her. "It-it will be alright, I'm sure." She comforted, or attempted to. "Where would I find him?"   
  
"A top the roof of the prop storage. It's where we keep all our show props." He gave her a long, considering look. "Why?"  
  
"I want to talk to him," Yasha said, already walking off into the direction.  
  
It did not take her long to hear the music, the soft, beautiful notes Yasha by now had associated with Desmond and his fiddle, the sweet song accompanying it could only come from one person, but it was choked and strained in a way Toya's singing never was.  
  
Making her way around the corner, Yasha could see Toya standing on her toes upon a prop chest, the drag marks still etching the snow. High above and hidden amongst boxes and circus repairs, was a swishing, purple tail.  
  
Taking a breath, Toya groaned as she fell back onto the pads of her feet as Desmond's fiddle slowed to a stop. "Is everything alright?" Yasha asked quietly as she walked towards them.  
  
"Oh, hi Yasha," Toya greeted with no cheer in her voice. "We can't get Molly down. He ran up there before rehearsal and we haven't seen him since."  
  
"This is not new," Desmond elaborated, stepping forward. "But this time is exceptionally bad. We usually get him down after half an hour, but this time we have been here all night."  
  
Yasha nodded her understanding. "Do you think... I could talk to him?"  
  
Toya scrunched up her nose and tilted her head. "If you can fit up there, you should give it a try."  
  
As Yasha stepped towards the trailer, a hand landed softly on her arm and she turned to see Desmond wearing an expression of melancholy. "There is not much space up there." He warned "I doubt anyone but Mollymauk would fit up there. If Toya or I were small enough, we would have already gone up."  
  
Pushing forward, Yasha scaled the interior of the prop shed and manoeuvred her way around the many boxes and crates. Movement caught her eye and she turned to see the waving tail bright, colourful fabric hanging off the edge of a metal support beam. "Molly?" She called, making her way towards it.  
  
The tail retracted upwards and the fabric- that Yasha knew for sure was Molly's coat- shifted to the left but continued to hang down. Yasha could hear faint, indistinct mumbles as she climbed the ladder leading up to Molly's hiding spot.  
  
His head was burrowed between his knees, tail wrapped tightly around his legs and hands gripping his horns like a lifeline. Having moved over, there was enough space for Yasha to sit beside him now that he had jammed himself into a corner. "Molly?" She whispered, reaching out towards him.  
  
Unexpectedly, Molly whimpered and turned away, gripping his horns tighter as Yasha shimmied up beside him. "Is everything alright?" She asked, placing a hand on his arm and feeling satisfied at the way he leant into it. "Is there anything I can do?"  
  
"Empty," Molly whispered as he lifted his head, words hollow and broken, eyes blank yet filled with tears as he stared into space. "Empty. Empty. "  
  
Yasha had heard stories of this happening from other members of the circus and realized that the real thing was just as worrisome as the tales. She hoped she knew what to do. "Do you know your name?"  
  
He opened his mouth as if to answer her, and Yasha felt a surge of hope but then he made a broken, retching sound and his face scrunched up in pain before he shook his head and let out a broken, high pitched whine that Yasha could feel stabbing her deep into her chest. "Empty," it came out as a strained, painful gasp.  
  
"It's alright, don't worry," Yasha muttered, bringing Molly's head down to rest on her shoulder. She pried his fingers from around his horns as she hummed him a song in Celestial.  
  
Almost instantly, Molly's writhing and groaning stopped as he listened. Yasha hadn't sung that song since she was a child, and her mother would put braids in her hair and her father would put the kettle on for tea, but suddenly the words call came flushing back like they were pulled from the vacuous space in her memory.   
  
Molly slumped against her and the snoring she had accustomed to late nights laughing in drunken stupors and falling face down in an exhausted heap on the mattress. Never with pain and fear and hopelessness, but here they were.  
  
Carefully, Yasha lifted Molly into her arms and brought him back down from the crates, his tail wrapped around her forearm, his head resting on her shoulder and his hands fisted in her furs. Toya and Desmond looked on in disbelief as she dropped the last few steps to the dirt. Wordlessly, Yasha took him through the camp, earning wide-eyed stares, and tucked him into his bed back in their tent.   
  
When Yasha woke the next morning, she brushed the hair out of her face to see Molly already awake, hugging his knees to his chest similar to the night before but with eyes much less fearful and tear-filled, tail swinging lazily behind him. "Oh, good morning." He greeted quietly as he watched her sit up and rub the back of her head. "Did you have a nice night?"  
  
"I suppose," she replied as she stretched her arms above her head to hear her back crack. "I was mostly worried about you though. Are you alright? I have never seen that happen before."  
  
Face falling, Molly rested his chin on his knees, eyes glaring at the floor. "Yes, right. That happens sometimes. I was hoping it had all been a dream. It never ends up being one though."  
  
They were silent for a moment, Yasha taking the opportunity to re-braid her hair before Molly spoke again. "I'm sorry," his voice was rough and heartfelt. "I should have told you. I just never thought it would come up."  
  
"That's alright," Yasha attempted, grimacing at how fake the sincerity sounded to her own ears. "You don't have to explain yourself to me."  
  
"They don't usually last that long," Molly muttered bitterly. "I was hoping it would go before you got back."  
  
"How often does it happen?" She asked cautiously, staring at the glittering gold threads in Molly's coat instead of at his downcast face.  
  
"Not that often." He admitted. "Maybe once every few months. They don't last that long later, maybe a week at most."  
  
"Right," Yasha frowned, tieing off the last braid with a strand of ribbon and placing her hands interlocked in her lap, one foot placed firmly on the floor and swinging her hammock steadily. "And why does it happen?"  
  
"Ah, that, my dear," Molly's grin was just as big as Yasha remembered it, bright and dazzling and bold, but there was a fracture Yasha couldn't remember ever being there. "Is an entirely different conversation altogether."  
~*~  
The answer to her question came soon enough, smoke billowing to the waterlogged roof of the basement and the both of them lying flat on their backs, giggling as Molly tried to make shapes in the smoke with a claw. Giving up, he turned it over, eyeing the nail critically. "I should get these painted." He announced, turning his head to look at Yasha, face smooshing up against the dirt covered floor so his voice came out muffled. "What do you think?"  
  
"I think you should." Yasha agreed, surprising herself. "Uh, I mean, only if you want to. What colour are you thinking of getting?"  
  
"I think maybe black," Molly mused, "or gold. Or silver. I don't know, I'll ask the Knot sisters opinion on that, they're very good at this stuff you know."  
  
Yasha couldn't even remember what they had taken, but the flakes were a purplish colour and somehow Molly knew to wrap it in parchment and light the ends. The smoke was a light pink and before Yasha had taken her own inhale, she wondered how the colour change occurred.   
  
It was already wearing off on her, the gentle fuzziness fading from her mind after hours seated on the floor. She dimly remembered Gustav opening the door to check on them, chucking and shaking his head before closing the door.  
  
While it was slowly fading from Yasha, a glance at her friend told her it definitely not fading from Mollymauk. He turned one dangling piercing around in his fingers while he giggled at the ceiling, eyes glassy and unfocused. "You know," he said abruptly, tongue not working in his mouth. "My first memory is of crawling my way out of a grave."  
  
The drugs seemed to wear off in an instant as Yasha shot upright and snapped her head to Molly, who was lazily licking his lips. "No, Molly, you don't have to tell me any of this, not now."  
  
"It was quite scary," Molly continued, ignoring Yasha. "It was only a shallow grave, but I woke up cold and alone in the woods."  
  
"Molly, stop." Yasha pleaded, attempting to reach over to place a hand on Molly's mouth, but ended up placing it on his forehead. She must have had more than she thought. "Molly, you're high. You don't know what you're talking about."  
  
Mollymauk turned and fixed her with a stern stare, eyes narrowing as he pulled her hand off of him. "Do you honestly think this is a new experience for me, Yasha?" He asked, tilting his head further than he already was. "Don't you think that by now I would have some experience with secrecy?"  
  
Not knowing what to say to this, Yasha took her hand back and began tracing patterns in the dirt with a finger.  
  
"I didn't even have a name," Molly admitted, now that he knew Yasha would no longer object. "I didn't know who I was or what I was doing. All I felt was emptiness, which coincidently, was the only word I could say for quite some time  
  
"Bo found me and brought me back to the camp and Gustav let me stay in his tent until I got my own. The sisters and Toya instantly took to calling me MT, because it sounded like "empty". But I don't know who I was before I woke up in that grave and I really don't care. This is me, here and now. Sometimes, I have this empty, void-like feeling in my chest, like the other day, and then I can't speak again. It's rather inconvenient.

  
"But slowly, they helped me make a new identity. Gustav and Toya gave me a name. The sisters taught me how to juggle. Bo and Ornna taught me how to fight and Desmond taught me how to work the crowd. I got a pair of fancy swords, a fancy coat and a deck of tarot cards and _volia_ , Mollymauk Tealeaf."  
  
Yasha hummed as she listened, letting it all sink in. "I never knew."  
  
"You never knew because I never told you, dear," Molly laughed, too loud to Yasha's ears as he passed her the smoking tip of the parchment filled with drugs. "Now, you want another?"  
~*~  
The sisters were missing, the sunrise and the frost gave way to Ornna's frightened shouting and a full-camp patrol.   
  
This wasn't 'Gustav-getting-lost' missing or 'Bo-sleepwalking' missing, or 'Ornna needing space' missing or 'Yasha-leaving-in-the-dead-of-night' missing or 'Molly-having-an-episode-and-hiding' missing. No, this was none of those.  
  
Their bags were packed, Ornna claimed, and their suitcases missing, along with their juggling gear and leotards. The sisters ran away.  
  
It startled Molly to find them first, having unhitched a horse from where it was tied to a cart and riding it to the town past, finding both girls in a square, balls and batons flying through the air as a gnome plated the lute and people tossed coin into Mona's open and empty suitcase.   
  
Molly dismounted his horse and tied it to a wooden beam before flicking a gold into the suitcase- the sisters momentarily pausing- and pulling his swords, stepping up beside them and performing his own.  
  
"Don't think this means you can get away with it," he told them quietly, motions and smile not faltering. "I just thought you deserved a little extra pay."  
  
The sun was setting behind the horizon when the act finished, the suitcase now filled with glittery coins, and the sister's exchanging grins, ready to take their earnings and leave, but the clearing of a throat from behind them made the sisters freeze. "We need to have a chat, I think, and a drink. Preferably something strong and pretty."  
  
The girls followed him to the closest tavern and sat silently in the booth while he ordered food and drinks, hands folded in their laps and heads down, eyes tracing the patterns in the wood grain. When Molly sat down, placing his armful on the table, they both looked up at him, desperation and pleading in their eyes. "Molly, look-" Mona started, but Molly held up his hand.  
  
"You don't have to explain yourself to me," the tiefling told them, voice quiet. "I understand, everyone needs their space every now and again. But what I don't get, is how you can just pack up and leave in the middle of the night without letting us know and scaring the shit out of us. Did you expect us not to look? Not to care? Were you not intending to come back?"  
  
Yuli shook her head but it was Mona who spoke. "No no, it's not that." She objected, pushing her hair behind her ears. "We were probably gonna come back, we just wanted to know what it was like to leave like Yasha did, if she enjoyed it." Molly nodded and waited while Mona gnawed on her lip.  
  
"It was nice earning our own money, too." Yuli whispered, head down and hair obscuring her eyes.   
  
Reaching his arms out, Molly gripped both hands tightly and squeezed. "Listen, we're not gonna love you any less if you want to leave every once in a while, or if you want to earn your own pay outside the circus. We all understand. But you can't just run away without letting us know. We're family now and family sticks together, no matter what, right?"  
  
Mona smirked as Yuli nudged her, eyeing Molly. "You sound like Gustav," Mona told him, making her sister snicker.  
  
Molly shivered and pretended to gag. "Oh god, I'm doomed. We can't have that, just stab me and leave me to die in the snow." He winked. "You can keep the pay you earned today and we'll stay here for the night. But when we get back to camp, you better have a damn good lie prepared."  
~*~  
"We're fucking lost, Gustav!" Ornna screamed from her place behind Bo. "Admit it, you prick! You've got us fucking lost in the gods damn desert!"  
  
"Miserable wretch," Gustav muttered making Molly chuckle from where he lounged in the back of the cart, legs crossed and arms folded behind his head. Louder, the ringmaster shouted "We're not lost Ornna! You're overreacting!"  
  
"Just because you got smashed with Molly and Desmond on that whiskey shouldn't mean that we all have to suffer because you're hungover!" Ornna continued, ignoring Gustav and making the occupants of the carts chuckle. The Knot sisters were holding their middles and rolling back and forth on the slats of the cart and Toya was stifling giggles behind her hands.  
  
"It was very good whiskey." Molly sighed as he basked in the sun. "Such a shame there's no more of it."  
  
"You drank it all?" Ornna roared in disbelief after hearing Molly's comment, making Gustav flinch and Molly to collapse into cackling. "Gustav Fletching, I have half the mind to come over there and rip you a new one!"  
  
"We're fine, Ornna!" Gustav shouted back as Molly wiped the tears from his eyes and got his breath back. "Just a little mishap! A setback! When we make it to a town, I'll shout you all a room at the finest tavern instead of making camp with the tents, how does that sound?"  
  
"Bloody oath, you dick! That's the least you can do, you selfish, egotistical bastard!"  
  
Gustav sighed and Molly shuffled his way to the driver's bench where Gustav was groaning and hiding his face in his hands. "Cheer up," Molly laughed, patting him on the back. "It's not too bad. I'll buy you a drink when we get to that tavern."  
  
"She's going to eat me alive." Gustav moaned.  
  
"Yeah," Molly agreed with a smile, pulling away. "But you deserve it, you fuck."  
~*~  
Molly had only ever heard snow, never saw it for himself, so when the carnival pulled into a town with soft glittering ice littering the ground, instead of helping to clear the cold white flakes with the others, he was dancing around and giggling and collapsing in the snow. "Look at this!" He called, giggling. "This is snow? This is snow! Look at it, look! Isn't this amazing?"  
  
"It's just snow, Molly," Ornna grunted, tossing her shovelful of snow into the already growing pile. "Nothing new."  
  
"I've never seen this before." Molly gasped quietly, face upturned to the sky and eyes widening in awe. Suddenly, he was aware of the sound of shovelling stopping and as he turned around, he was mindful of the rest of his family staring at him in shock. "Uh... did I say something wrong?"  
  
"W-what do you mean you've never seen snow?" Bosun stuttered. "It's _snow_?"  
  
Tilting his head, Molly mulled the question over. "I supposed it's just because we've never come across it," he mused. "I've heard about it but I've never seen it personally."  
  
"Why not?" Asked Toya, setting down her shovel. "Everyone's seen snow."  
  
"I suppose I must have before I woke up in that grave, but as myself, I can't say I've ever seen it."  
  
"What else have you never seen?" Mona asked at the same time Yuli questioned "Why the fuck not?", earning an elbow to the ribs from her sister.  
  
"Well, I have no memory of the time before so I can't actually answer either of those questions, my dears." Molly conceded as he picked up his own shovel, previously discarded in the snow.  
  
"Wait, does this mean you've never seen fireworks, or eclipses, or waterfalls, or sword eaters or any magic outside of us?" Gustav gasped. "Molly, are you fucking serious?"  
  
"I wonder if I could be a sword swallower?" He thought with a laugh. His laughter stopped at the grave looks on everyone's faces. "No, I haven't. I mean, my first experience with fire was the night you took me in. My _real_ first experience with fire was with Ornna and her fans." He looked around the group. "Oh come on, tell me you're not put off by this."  
  
"Molly, you've never seen anything." Ornna spluttered "You act like this is a normal thing. You've been with us for a year and you never told us any of this?"  
  
"I didn't think it was a big deal!"  
  
"It is the biggest deal since you joined, young man!" Gustav explained dramatically. "Once this show is over, we'll take a break and show you everything you've missed." He pointed at Molly and the shovel in his hands. "Until then, no slacking off. Get digging."  
~*~

Every time the circus travelled to a new town, Molly had watched Yasha sneak off, attempting not to be suspicious and then return with a flower in her hand or behind her ear. It was never mentioned and Molly always watched it and counted how many days it had left before it died and Yasha discarded it.  
  
There was a bookstore, and as Molly perused the shelves he came across a section on gardening, the planting of vegetables and the pruning of trees but most interesting; one about the pressing of flowers. Molly paid the 3 silver for the book and, per the owner's suggestion, brought a book from a merchant across the street that had apparently been made specifically for flower pressing.   
  
After wrapping it and feeling quite pleased with himself, Molly had placed it with her belongings with a note written in Gustav's scrawling script, saying _"Dearest Yasha, may your flowers never die and your spirit never falter, from your best friend Mollymauk"_ and a handful of flowers he had picked from the ground on the way home. Wrapped in the bundle was the book Molly brought from the library, included just in case Yasha needed it.  
  
Molly pretended to be asleep when Yasha walked in later that night, smelling of campfire smoke and Desmond's soup, and he heard he confused mumble when she saw the new package in her rucksack. After the moment, he could hear the tearing of paper and her gasp of surprise, the hesitant but crisp cracking of a book spine and smelt rosemary and thyme before he drifted off to sleep.  
  
Yasha wasn't in her bed when Molly woke, but he found her seated by the campfire, Toya resting her head on one knee and the book held delicately on the other. As Molly approached, he could see she was already a few pages into the book, the colourful petals or green stems of multiple flowers peeking out of the pages. "What have you got there?" Molly asked with a smile in his voice as he sat beside her.  
  
"Thank you very much for this, Mollymauk." She said quietly. "You did not have to."  
  
"No, but I wanted to." He nudged her with his shoulder. "Come on, show me what you've got in there already."  
  
Opening her book to the front page, Yasha carefully peeled it back and showed the flowers to Molly- the baby blue bellflowers, vibrant purple cornflower, bright yellow zinnia, blood red cosmos, pale white forget-me-nots, pink dogwood, all placed together on the few pages used.  
  
"These are gorgeous," Molly gently ran his finger over the edges of a poppy, "But you can always just buy a new book. You don't have to double up and stuff them all together on one page to save space."  
  
"I know, but wouldn't be the same." She held the book softly in her lap, fingers barely grazing the cover. "Do you want to see my favourite flower?"  
  
"Of course my dear, I absolutely would."

Flipping through the book, Yasha opened to a page dominated by a single crimson-indigo flower, the stem cut short to fit on the page, dropped bell petals flecked with blood-red. "Its a snapdragon. It's a mess," she explained, running her finger over the press as Molly had done before. "It reminds me of you."  
  
Molly could feel himself choking up, but he blinked away the sting in his eyes cleared his throat to pat Yasha on the back. "My dear, that is the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. Stop that now, you're making me soft."  
~*~  
"Quickly now," Gustav called urgently. "Pull off the road, over here, under the trees and keep quiet."  
  
The caravans shielded themselves with the tree canopy just as the heavy, methodical beatings of wings could be heard coming closer, and from Molly's position ducked under Yasha's arm, one holding tight to a tree branch for support and the other gripping her sword like a salvation, he saw a great, green dragon, scales glittering in the sunlight and wings beating the air like a drum, it's roar loud enough to shake the earth.  
  
Molly reached over to Gustav and nudged him. "You know, when you told me you would show me all the things this world has to offer, Gustav, I didn't think you would be throwing me in the deep end and start with a fucking dragon."  
  
"I didn't think there were any dragons around here," Bosun grumbled, eyeing the dragon. The sisters had their hands on their crossbows.  
  
"Don't worry everyone," Gustav reassured, a tremble to his words. "I'm sure it'll pass."  
  
"That's so cool." Toya gasped quietly from where she was held in Klyres arms, eyes staring at the speck of green now in the distance.  
  
Snorting, Gustav spurred the horses back onto the path. "You won't be thinking that when one bites your face off. Now, we have to make up time, let's get a move on."  
~*~  
Grinning, Molly leaned back lazily as he watched Yasha stand awkwardly at the door, hesitant to come in. "Come, my dear, and sit down. I don't bite." He paused, licking his lips. "Much."  
  
Uttering a final sigh, Yasha wiped a hand down her face and sat cross-legged on the pillow. "What am I here for, again?"  
  
With a flourish, Molly produced his tarot cards from his inner coat pocket, opening the packet with a flick of his wrist and shuffled them in one deft motion. "Why, to learn your fortune, of course."  
  
"Molly you know I don't believe in this stuff." Her fingers picked at a fraying thread from the pillow.   
  
"Humor me." Finishing his shuffling, Molly laid the cards face down in a row of three. "Are you ready?"  
  
"No."  
  
Molly turned over the first card, a dark landscape with two moons, a smaller one covering a bigger one until it became a crescent. A dog and a wolf sat opposite each other on a hill, between two towers on the edge of the card, the wolf with its nose upturned and howling at the moon while the dog quietly sat. Beneath the hill, a lobster crawled to the surface, like it was swimming through water. "Ah the moon," Molly sounded pleased. "The wolf symbolizes wildness and animal instincts, while the dog represents domestically and the mundane life. Take care, for all is not what it seems. You will need to use your intuition to deal with a deceptive situation. The path you are on is difficult and may cause fear, but continue along it, even if you are beset by doubts because they will eventually turn out as well."  
  
There was a twinkle in Molly's eye as he turned over the middle card. Two curled swords crossed over a purple background, a red flower between them ears of corn by each tip. "Ah, the two of swords. Interesting, but I'm not sure what else I expected. This card means balance. Friendship at a time of adversity. An ally upon whom you can depend. A decision has to be made logically, but there are no clues as to which direction to take. A balance between two equally matched opponents. A duel, either literally or one fought with words."  
  
Yasha felt lightheaded, surprised at the sudden change of her usually jovial and fun-filled friend to this new Mollymauk, voice serious and eyes staring into nothingness, tail lashing behind him in concentration and claws tapping on the backs of the deck. Yasha could not believe how much Molly knew from the pull of the cards. She recalled a conversation from when she had first joined the circus and had questioned his trade. _"I might not be telling the truth to every person every time, but there are moments in my career where I have felt a tingle at the back of my neck and my fingers pull out the cards, but these cards are most definitely the right ones."_  
  
So lost in her thoughts, Yasha almost missed Molly flip the final card.   
  
A nude woman- a dancer?- , wearing nothing but a headscarf and a red ribbon stood in the centre of a wreath, a man, an eagle, a bull and a lion watched her from each corner of the card. "Oh, the world! I knew you were a rather busy woman Yasha, so I shouldn't be surprised. The symbols on this card have a vast number of meanings, but my favourite is the completion of a task. The rewards of labour and success. Triumph in all your undertakings. The end of one cycle and the start of another. Did you know that this is considered the best card in the deck? It shows that battles are over and triumph is yours!"  
  
Blinking, Yasha looked up from the cards, all laid out neatly in their row, and into Molly's face. "Now, that wasn't so bad, was it?"  
  
"No, Molly." Yasha picked up The Moon, ran it between her fingers. "It was just fine."  
~*~  
In his short lifetime, Molly had many experiences with fire. Ornna and her flaming fans, the campfire flicking at night, the blaze of a torch, the spark at the end of carefully wrapped parchment placed up against lips.  
  
It occurs to him now, that he has never actually seen anything _on_ fire.  
  
Flames danced in his eyes, reflecting the light and leaving bright scars in his vision, the heat searing his skin. He stood, motionless in fright as the carnival put out the flames.   
  
"I'm gonna kill those fucking kids!" Ornna was busy putting out the flames with a towel.   
  
"Oh, it only took them lighting our fucking livelihood on fire for you to decide!" Gustav snapped.  
  
Toya, Yuli and Mona were already gone, rushed away by the lizardfolk and protected dearly in his arms. The flames burst forwards from their confines of the small cart and Molly watched Bo pour buckets of water onto the flames.  
  
Ornna screamed and pulled back as a lick of flame burnt her arm, Gustav running to her and pulling her away. Molly realised that the flames weren't hurting him as much as he thought they would, so he went in further, patting the flames out with his bare hands.  
  
He hissed as the pain hit, burning and charring his flesh. He could hear his name being shouted, loud and panicked, and the onslaught of cold water came quicker.   
  
Eventually, the flames died down and Molly emerged from the wreckage of the cart, Ornna running up to him instantly- her own burn already wrapped in bandages- and looked him over. "You fool!" She cried, eyes wild and frightened. "You could have been killed!"  
  
"I mean, it hurts but not that bad." Molly insisted.   
  
Ornna glowered at him, making Molly wince. "Fine, you're fire resistant. Good for you. Stop trying to be a fucking hero and go rushing into every dangerous situation you can find. Now, stop squirming and let me patch you up."  
~*~

He found her on a hill, head in her hands as she stiffed her sobs with her hands. He sat down next to her and watched the setting sun disappear below the horizon. He knew that this time it wasn't a nightmare but something worse.  
  
"Don't listen to them," Molly told her "they're wrong."  
  
"Stop lying to me," Toya sobbed, voice rough and scratchy, tighten by tears. "They wouldn't see it wasn't true."  
  
Molly sighed and bumped Toya with his shoulder. "You'll find, hun, that in your life there will be people who try and go against you and you can either let then hurt you or forget about them. Those guys today? Compared to all the people that love you, are nothing."  
  
"How do you know?" Toya wiped her eyes with the edge of her sleeve. "Just talking about it hurts."

  
"Because eventually, we will move on; a new town, a new show and most importantly a new Toya. So what if your voice is crackly? They’ve never heard you sing.”

“You don’t really mean that.”

“Do I lie?”

A faint smile crept across her face and she stuck her tongue out at Molly. “All the time.”

“Alright fine, you’ve got me here.” Molly chuckled, tugging on a braid. “But you know what? Our show would suck without you and those guys will always be dicks. When you take the world by storm, they’ll be sitting in the front row remembering that little dwarf girl they made fun of.”

“You really think so Molly?”

“Oh my dear, I know so.” He winked. “I tell fortunes, remember? Come now, let’s get you to bed.”

~*~

“Fuck Molly, I didn’t think you were the kind to get into bar fights.” Bo was leaning against the wall, admiring his nails.

“I’m fucking not but I’m not going to sit back while some fucking creep grabs a little boy,” Molly growled from where Ornna was putting a wet washcloth against his face to clean up the blood. “You wouldn’t so why should I?”

“You shouldn’t’.” Bo agreed. “But you’re much… uh… smaller than us, you know? You should have just fetched us.”

“It would have been too late.” Molly glared at Bo. “And just say it. I’m weaker than you. I get hurt easier than you. I’m an easy target. I’m better off hiding behind Yasha and letting the rest of you do all the work.”

Bo looked cornered. “That’s not true at all. You’re very useful.”

“I’m sick of people leaving me out and doing things for me.” Molly pushed Ornna’s hand away, earning a confused grunt from the woman. “That’s the last time. For now on, I’m going to fight my own battles. I’m gonna stand up for what I believe in and I’m going to do whatever the fuck I want.”

“Molly-”

Standing, Molly made for the exit, facing Bo as he passed him. “I’m just as tough as the rest of you and one of these days, I’m gonna prove it.”

~*~

His opportunity came with a tusk-less half-orc, a dirty wizard, a woman who flung around insults like fists, a little goblin girl, a blue tiefling who was more than happy to indulge his fortunes... and the murders of the audience.

It was the most unexpected thing. He had found them at a tavern, desperately trying to ignore the other group's suspicious glances, so he had handed them a pamphlet, Yasha at his back.

Molly had spotted them and thought _this is it_.

They fought like they had done it together all their lives, twisting and dodging and casting spells like it was nothing. The girls were taken away while Molly, Gustav and Bo were obviously tried for the crimes, in the cart Molly had turned to Bo. “I told you I could take care of myself. I told you I could fight.”

“You’re still tied up in a cart with us Molls,” Bo grunted, “How’d that work out for you?”

“Sometimes you need to hit rock bottom before you can reach the stars.” Molly snapped back, ignoring the stare from Gustav.

“Good fucking philosophy.” Bo glared out the bars and at the road disappearing under the cart's wheels. “We’re still going to lose everything and be locked up for the rest of our lives.”

“That isn’t going to happen.” Gustav declared, meeting Molly’s eyes. “If I cover for you, will you look after the others? Try and solve this and get us out?”

“Of course.”

“Then follow my lead.”

Bo huffed, “What makes you think Molly can do that?”

“You’re being a real dick lately Bosun, you know that?” Molly scowled.

“Fuck off Molly.”

“Shut it, both of you.” Gustav sighed. “Not alone you can’t,” he turned to Molly. “But those people you fought with today? In the tent? No matter what happens, if you get out, I want you to take Yasha and go with them.”

“But what about-”

“I’ll be fine. Bo, you take Toya, Kylry and Ornna. Desmond and the Knot sisters if they want to come but you just look after each other.”

“We don't abandon family.” Bo insisted “We can’t split up, we’re all we’ve got. We’re not leaving you.”

“Listen, we don’t have much time.” Gustav rubbed his eyes with his bound hands. “But I know this town; I’ll either be forced to pay a fine or prison time. I can always break out of prison, we all know I’ve done it before. If it’s the fine, I’ll stay here and pay it, then meet you. If I don’t find you in the first few years-”

“ _Years?"_

“-then ask my name at Shady Creek Run. You know where that is, find me there. I might have some contacts who could help.”

“Gustav, this is ridiculous,”

“Mollymauk, my boy,” Gustav’s voice was gentle. “I know this is not what you want. None of us wants this. It’s the only way. I trust you and that you’ll know what to do when the time comes. I _trust you_ with this Mollymauk. I _need_ you to do this for me. Final time."

“I don’t want to leave you,” Molly whispered. In Molly’s head, a mantra was ringing. _Do not cry_ , he thought _, do not cry, do not cry, do not cry._

 “You won’t be. We’ll always be in your heart, no matter how far apart we are. We will meet again one day, you know. I promise you we will and we’ll start the circus up again, one last tour for the family.” Gustav’s eyes turned serious. “I need you to promise me, Molly, that you will do everything you can to protect them. With us gone, they’re your responsibility. I need you to promise.”

The cart stopped and the guards jumped out of the cart, laughing and gangling keys in their hands. “I promise.”

“Good.” Gustav raised his chin and smiled largely as the guards opened the doors. “Performance faces boys, big smiles. Time to put on our acts.”

~*~

They parted soon after, Gustav forced to stay in the town to pay off the debt, the Knot sisters disappeared into the unknown, Desmond drinking alone in the tavern and Bo, Toya and Ornna riding away in the sunset on a separate cart to start their own adventures.

The further they went, the more Molly felt like they were taking a part of his soul with them.

“So,” he turned to the new ragtag group of flustered people he was still learning the names of, rubbing his hands together, meeting Yasha’s knowing gaze. “Let’s get this show on the road, shall we?”

~*~

The cart had stopped, the sounds of battle raging on the path. 

Yasha sat in a too-small cage with her hands bound and her mouth gagged, Fjord and Jester similarly tied next to her, Jester asleep on her shoulder.

After hours of looking for an escape, shoving herself against the cave doors and screaming at the top of her lungs through the gag in fury, she had collapsed defeated against the bars, breathing heavily.

There was a sharp kick at the back of her head and Yasha whirled to glare at a half-orc, eyes glinting with laughter and a smile behind his gag, eyes full of carefully hidden fear, but Yasha knew the bright look of fear very well.

“Mmhmmm?” She called, relief flooding her as Bo winked. Beside him, Ornna sat slumped, bleeding from her scalp and Toya laid curled up in the corner of the cage. Bo jerked his chin to another cage where the Knot sisters had twisted themselves out of their bindings and were pulling their gags down. They were wearing their tattered performance leotards and Yasha couldn’t help but wonder how long ago they were taken.

Fjord had woken up Jester and they both turned in glee and despair in seeing the familiar faces in cages. Jester was sobbing, Fjord glum.  

Their eyes all met, and a silent conversation trailed between them, sharp and sure, like a strike of lighting, before the carts started moving again and the horses clopped back on the road, the sounds of battle outside silenced. 

 _It’s alright,_ they seemed to say, _Molly will save us._

 

**Author's Note:**

> I actually own a tarot card deck and I picked those cards out how you are supposed to do a reading and those are actually the cards I pulled for Yasha. I described them from the actual card too, and the description is from the book. 
> 
> I hope you liked it, it took me a few weeks to do x
> 
> Let me know if I need to fix up the tags xx


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